You are so right. I find it so contradictory to tell people to be normal and to fit in on one hand, and yet "be yourself, celebrate being unique" on the other. It doesn't work both ways!
I guess I'm the same? IDK. Do stupid people drive you mad? My problem is I think in math and science very easily (Tom and I only ever argue about engineering) and people just seem to shut off so we kind of just give up trying to explain things.
My day job is IT, so I deal with people all the time that know nothing about computers. So I understand what your talking about and it can get on my nerves a lot.
I think in terms of logic and emotion so I can understand that perspective to an extent. Body language and reading people kind of became a special interest of mine when I was a kid so I have spent a ton of time learning about this so I can understand people and limit miscommunication.
Ha! Computers...yeah, we can troubleshoot and fix most stuff on our own too, Tom is hardware and I'm software. (double entendre there...). But yeah figuring out how people work is a lifetime thing for one of us!
Yeah I am not expert in reading people either it's just a defensive thing because I am a people pleaser and don't want people mad at me.
It also makes me anxious talking to people online because when I don't have the ability to tell emotions my mind always goes to the worst case scenario when trying to judge reactions. So almost ironically I am autistic but like talking to people either in IRL or at least verbally. I also am partially like this because I talk to process thought.
I love this. Being the "black" sheep in the family taught me early on that I'm different. Certainly not normal in the common sense. I always played against the rules, asked the questions nobody asked. It's a process and like with everything you get used to it.
Ah. Yes. I see so much of myself here. It's taken me 70 years to discover that there are other people like me. I was never normal, never cared about being normal, still don't, but it seems I am a fairly normal 2eAuDHD. Thanks for sharing.
Twice exceptional, it refers to those of us who are also ‘gifted.’ People with a high IQ along with either ADHD or Autism or both are known as twice exceptional. Those who are gifted (rather than neurotypical with a high IQ) have their own set of corresponding issues known as overexcitabilities. It makes one's life even more intense.
Ah ok. Tom would be one of those, as would a friend of ours. I don't know if I am, but I think I am at least above average on the IQ, I have done a couple of those online tests and come up with scores in the 120s.
This felt like reading a parallel version of myself, not in words or structure, but in essence.
So much of what you describe hit home: the resistance, the self-reliance, the way your mind moves differently in a world that doesn’t always know what to do with that.
What makes this piece powerful is exactly how it flows: unfiltered, grounded, real. No performance, no pretense, just truth as it is.
I truly admire that. Subscribed, with gratitude and respect.
Thank you! It's my complete inability for subterfuge that won Tom over, after a marriage of nothing BUT a wife that couldn't truly commit to the relationship. She used him for 23 years, and then took him for everything she could in the separation and divorce. Honesty was absolutely refreshing for him, and his girls couldn't seem to wrap their heads around it.
That was beautiful
"Normal" when referring to human is such an outdated concept to me or is just too simplistic.
You are so right. I find it so contradictory to tell people to be normal and to fit in on one hand, and yet "be yourself, celebrate being unique" on the other. It doesn't work both ways!
Yeah I have simply just learned to adapt to the people around so I am only showing the parts they are okay with.
I guess I'm the same? IDK. Do stupid people drive you mad? My problem is I think in math and science very easily (Tom and I only ever argue about engineering) and people just seem to shut off so we kind of just give up trying to explain things.
My day job is IT, so I deal with people all the time that know nothing about computers. So I understand what your talking about and it can get on my nerves a lot.
I think in terms of logic and emotion so I can understand that perspective to an extent. Body language and reading people kind of became a special interest of mine when I was a kid so I have spent a ton of time learning about this so I can understand people and limit miscommunication.
Ha! Computers...yeah, we can troubleshoot and fix most stuff on our own too, Tom is hardware and I'm software. (double entendre there...). But yeah figuring out how people work is a lifetime thing for one of us!
Yeah I am not expert in reading people either it's just a defensive thing because I am a people pleaser and don't want people mad at me.
It also makes me anxious talking to people online because when I don't have the ability to tell emotions my mind always goes to the worst case scenario when trying to judge reactions. So almost ironically I am autistic but like talking to people either in IRL or at least verbally. I also am partially like this because I talk to process thought.
I love this. Being the "black" sheep in the family taught me early on that I'm different. Certainly not normal in the common sense. I always played against the rules, asked the questions nobody asked. It's a process and like with everything you get used to it.
Thank you for writing with personal insights.
Ah. Yes. I see so much of myself here. It's taken me 70 years to discover that there are other people like me. I was never normal, never cared about being normal, still don't, but it seems I am a fairly normal 2eAuDHD. Thanks for sharing.
I know the AuDHD, what's the 2e part?
Twice exceptional, it refers to those of us who are also ‘gifted.’ People with a high IQ along with either ADHD or Autism or both are known as twice exceptional. Those who are gifted (rather than neurotypical with a high IQ) have their own set of corresponding issues known as overexcitabilities. It makes one's life even more intense.
Ah ok. Tom would be one of those, as would a friend of ours. I don't know if I am, but I think I am at least above average on the IQ, I have done a couple of those online tests and come up with scores in the 120s.
This felt like reading a parallel version of myself, not in words or structure, but in essence.
So much of what you describe hit home: the resistance, the self-reliance, the way your mind moves differently in a world that doesn’t always know what to do with that.
What makes this piece powerful is exactly how it flows: unfiltered, grounded, real. No performance, no pretense, just truth as it is.
I truly admire that. Subscribed, with gratitude and respect.
Thank you! It's my complete inability for subterfuge that won Tom over, after a marriage of nothing BUT a wife that couldn't truly commit to the relationship. She used him for 23 years, and then took him for everything she could in the separation and divorce. Honesty was absolutely refreshing for him, and his girls couldn't seem to wrap their heads around it.